Health and Mental Health

By the title of this post I am guessing that you have an idea of what this post is all about or you have an idea. These past few weeks as you know I haven't been posting much. I have posted a few posts to keep you updated as best I could or just wrote that things are tough right now. Today is the last day of the month and I am so glad and hoping that next month is awesome! May has been hard for me personally and for some of my loved ones around me there have been a lot of things that have happened including cancer battles, dangerous falls, mental health issues and many more.

My struggle has been with my mental health and my physical health. It has all gotten out of control and I am grasping at straws to get back in control of it all. I personally suffer from Depression and it has been a struggle that I have dealt with for years basically over 10 years. It usually doesn't get too bad and I can work through it pretty easily but this month has been a big test on myself. I have chosen to not medicate my depression and It's defiantly ok if anyone else reading this does you have to do whats right for you. We all have the choice to do what we think is best for us and for me personally medication just always made me feel worse then I already did so I have always chosen to deal with it on my own.

I have been very depressed this month and overwhelmed. Because of this I have let my physical health suffer and my weight has gone way up and I now am struggling to get it to go back down. I have always struggled with my weight and my appearance and have low to no self esteem. I am currently the biggest I have been since I was a teenager and that was over 13 years ago. I lost almost 100lbs probably about 5-6 years ago and was the smallest I had ever been but wasn't yet at my goal but was so close. Then life happened and I had L and a lot of different things happen and never got back to how well I was before. I wish desperately that I could get back into the mind space I used to have when it came to working out and the way I ate.

I have started to make some new goals for myself and Next month is a new beginning and the new Beginning starts June 1st! Wish me luck!